Character

There's this guy at work. He's a character. He's not native to this country, and that makes his behavior unpredictable and somewhat amusing. Mostly, he's annoying, but in a likable kind of way. Not exactly the most eligible bachelor in the office.


(that was weird, what are you getting at?)


Well, I run into people like that from time to time. People who I don't know very well, but are probably perfectly lovely human beings in their own right. Their public face is fairly uncharismatic, and you imagine that they're lonely. It's not a stretch. Then you find out that they're married.

(oh, I get it...)


This coworker of mine announced his engagement, and while I clapped and hollered like every one else there, there was a part of me that was thinking "What the hell?" I suppose its just cognitive dissonance speaking.


(Look it up: Ctrl +T, Wikipedia)


Generally, I believe that I'm a decent, lovable person who is capable of finding love and, in theory, getting married. Yet, it hasn't happened. So, of course, I start to wonder if there's something wrong with me. If this oblivious, obnoxious coworker of mine worked it out, then maybe I'm looking at things all skewed. Maybe I'm the oblivious, obnoxious one. I should just be able to be happy for this guy getting married, but instead I'm worrying about myself. 


You know what that makes me?


(misdirected? An overthinker? Insecure, perhaps?)


An asshole.




Here's an unrelated poem.
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Stone


Please God, make me a stone
Where I fall, let me lie
Untouched and alone
Wet my face under the rain
It carves its words in me
But I don't feel the pain
Hear no music in my ears
Leave me a shell
Without any fears
Build my body up into a wall
From my hiding place
I'll watch empires fall
Pound me down into sand
So I'll be a castle
Made by innocent hands
Winds take me wherever they please
And I'll live forever
Aloft on the breeze
Press me into a pane of glass
Through me to watch
Their lives as they pass
Melt me down under a flame
So I can meld with another
And find love again
Or, if you will, just make me a stone
Let me fall where I may
Untouched and alone
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There you have it, post number five. (approach with trepidation)